Say No to Resolutions. Say Yes to Transformation.


A new year means it’s time to conform to the cultural peer pressure of setting new year’s resolutions. I like goals, a good challenge, and the satisfaction when the outcome is achieved. A nice big checkmark declaring complete makes my heart happy.

Every year, I set the same resolutions plus a few unique ones.

1. Read more books.
2. Call my friends weekly.
3. Become a runner.
4. Kick my ice cream habit.

By March, I would always forget my resolutions, resulting in no personal change and no personal growth. Not good! Not effective!

After years of this insanity (doing the same thing over and over again expecting the same results), I had to take a different approach. I am a big picture thinker with a heart for self-development and self-growth. I understand that improvement comes through intentionality, experiences, and grit. Why is this concept not working for me?

I moved to a yearly focus philosophy. Focus as a noun is a central point of attraction, activity, or attention. Focus as a verb is to concentrate. It becomes a way of living, a lifestyle. It is a central point for all things – mindset, goals, behaviors, and actions.

So, how do you do it?

First, assess your behaviors, attributes, or competencies that need improvement. What do you want to change? How do you want to improve? What drives you crazy about yourself? As imperfect humans, we all have plenty of opportunities to improve. Take it one year at a time. 

Second, ask others to provide you feedback about behaviors, attributes, or competencies that need improvement. What is a blind spot that needs to be revealed? Take a big step into vulnerability and ask safe people who love you unconditionally for feedback. Stay away from anyone who is critical, jealous, narcissistic, or depressed. Pick your biggest cheerleaders who want to help you be the best YOU.   

Third, pray or meditate on your feedback list. What is the focus that I need to improve? What is the focus that I need in the role of mom? Take your time to find peace. Your yearly focus takes great intentionality and discernment to be transformational. Don’t feel rushed. If it takes you to February 1 or March 1, it is worth the wait. 

Last, declare your focus and commit. How will you hold yourself accountable? Who will tell? Use your focus throughout your engagements and interactions with others. Make decisions that align with your focus. Be your focus and watch the transformation!  

I started the yearly focus four years ago. It changed me. It stretched me. It excelled me. No matter what annual self-improvement philosophy you follow, I encourage you to take time to self-reflect, find vulnerability, and declare it to yourself and an accountability partner. It is a yearly life decision that you owe yourself!

What is your yearly focus? Declare it below so the OKC Moms Community can support you in your journey.


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