Dear Son,
This age is going to be one of the hardest ages you will ever get through. You are maturing and becoming more independent but yet still so limited on what you can do. You’re on the verge of being an adult, but still so much a child. I know it’s confusing and frustrating for you, but just understand, it is for me as well. Every day I struggle with knowing when to let you handle things yourself and when you still need me.
I want to give you a few pieces of advice.
Don’t grow up too fast. I know you can’t wait to be an adult so you’re old enough to do whatever you want, but let me tell you, I wish I’d held on to my younger years a little longer. Once you start working and paying bills, you’ll never stop. Enjoy being a kid. Adulthood comes soon enough.
Don’t always follow the crowd. Just because your friends are doing it, doesn’t make it the right thing to do.
Be nice to everybody. Never pick on or bully anyone. You never know who may grow up and be your boss someday. If you’re kind to everyone, you’ll never have to worry about karma paying you a visit later.
Be careful who you tell your secrets to. Some people genuinely care, but others are just looking for gossip.
When you meet someone you want to date, treat them with respect. Be kind. And if things don’t work out, leave the relationship gracefully. Revenge isn’t a good look on anyone.
Actions have consequences. Remember that while you may be a kid now and you may just be having a little fun with your buddies, the choices you make now can and will affect you later. Especially the bad ones. Will that thing you’re about to do keep you from having the career you want if you get caught?
Work hard. If you want something, earn it. Work your tail off to be the best at what you do, no matter how trivial it may seem. Good work ethic will serve you well.
But don’t forget to have fun too. Working hard is great but you’ll burn out if you don’t take time to relax.
Know your worth. Don’t stay in relationships, jobs or friendships where you are being treated poorly.
Always look for the good in people, but don’t be too trusting. Believe that most people are good, but that doesn’t mean you should hand over your credit card information to anyone who asks.
Figure out who you are and love the hell out of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re weird, nerdy, smart, athletic, just be who you are. Embrace it. You can’t expect people to love you if you don’t love you first. Even if you don’t fit in now, eventually you’ll find your tribe.
Don’t ever take anything you have for granted. Just because it’s there today, doesn’t mean it will be there tomorrow. This goes for people, too. Appreciate everyone and everything in your life. Tell people how much you love them. Say it a lot. Make it weird.
Learn at least one interesting skill. When you start something new, everyone always wants you to share an interesting fact about yourself. Make it something really cool.
It’s ok to not have your life planned out. By your senior year in high school, everyone will expect you to know what college you’re attending and what career you want. It’s ok if you don’t know. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up until after I was 30.
You are going to make mistakes. Lots of them. We ALL do. What really matters is what you do with those mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up, but use it as a learning experience. Never be too proud to admit your mistakes. I am here to tell you, I have made some doozies. There is no shame in admitting when you mess up. Admit it, own up to it, and do better next time with what you learned from it.
Take care of your body. Right now you treat it like an amusement park, but one day it will catch up to you. Learn to eat right and exercise now before it’s too late. Once you’re my age, everything hurts all the time and stops working. Take care of it while you can.
But above all this, remember that I will always be here to cheer you on. It terrifies me to know that someday you will move out and live your own life, but I know that my job as your mother was to raise you to be able to do just that. If you are able to take care of yourself and be responsible, then I have done a good job. I’ll try not to be too overbearing and overprotective, if you’ll try to be understanding when I do.
I know sometimes things seem unfair and harsh, but everything I do is out of love. Go easy on me. Believe it or not, I’m learning right alongside of you. I’ve never raised a teenage boy before, and I just want to make sure I teach you to be the best man, husband, dad, employee, friend, and human being that you can be.
I love you more than you will ever know. Go make me proud and don’t do stupid stuff.
Love,
Mom
