Welcome to the Mom edition of what women really mean. If you missed my first article, you can read it here.
Making moms feel heard is important to me.
Is it because I’m a truth bearer? Hard to say…
And today I’d like to clear up any confusion concerning some commonly used phrases.
1. “We’ll see.”
What we mean: There’s not a chance in hell it’s happening. No further questions at this time.
2. “I’m just resting my eyes.”
What we mean: I’m three seconds away from slipping into a coma but I need you to just go with it. Please don’t call the police.
3. “Why can’t you find your shoes??”
What we mean: Why in the Payless is this always a problem? Help me help you help me, because I’m one lost shoe away from becoming a cobbler. Someone get Nike on the phone. Matter of fact, get God on the phone because I need His guidance in this time of consternation.
4. “Okay, but this is the last time.”
What we mean: It’s not the last time, Tanner. It’s just not. Inevitably, at your next request I will bend like a Twizzler…a very tired, stale Twizzler that needs a nap, a vacation and one million dollars.
5. “We have food at home.”
What it means: In case you didn’t notice, being alive now costs $700 a day and there’s no money left for Fazoli’s. We’re having Hamburger Helper and wishes for dinner. Be blessed.
What we mean: Persuade me. No really, there’s a chance a yes will happen, but at what cost? Hit me with the selling points. Come at me, Conner. Otherwise, the forecast shows a 100 percent chance of NO.
7. “I love you.”
What we mean: I love you more than you could ever understand and I cry just looking at your pictures and I would die a slow painful death for you if I had to because you are my heart and soul walking around outside my body. That’s all.
If I missed any, just comment below. I’ll get back to you after I pull the popcorn chicken from the oven and find my son’s lost shoe.
Keeping the Hood in Motherhood,