To My 29-Year-Old Self…

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I turned 31 this September. It wasn’t the birthday I ever imagined it to be, it was even better.

If I could write a letter to my 29-year-old self, I think it would go something as follows:

2020 is not going to be your year. In fact, it’s going to a real son of a biscuit. It will be the most difficult year. But let me tell you what all you’re going to accomplish.

First, your divorce will be final. Yes, that’s right. You’ll get divorced. But you stay at the same house.

Second, this huge pandemic will hit and you’ll lose your job.

Third, you’ll get a job but only be there for 2 months and then you have to leave.

Fourth, that house? Yeah… you’re going to need to move because you can’t afford bills.  

During your divorce, you dug deep within yourself and became your own warrior. You learned to stand up for yourself and speak for yourself. You fought hard.

When you lost your job, you didn’t lose hope. You did what you could to stay afloat for bills. You fought hard.

When you left your other job, you didn’t go down without a fight. You set boundaries and when those weren’t respected, the benefits of leaving far outweighed the risks. You knew your own self-worth and didn’t let your coworker take it from you. You fought hard.

When you had to move, you learned to lay down your pride and ask for help. You made new friends, you live in a good neighborhood surrounded by families. This is where you’re meant to be. You fought hard.

Though this life isn’t what at all you imagined, you fought hard. You became your own warrior, you became your own safe place. And you led the way for others to follow. For others to learn you have what it takes within yourself, that mistakes are only a part of learning, that you know what to do, and that you are your own damn hero.

Oh. And for your 31st birthday? Well, that was spent laughing and watching movies with your girlfriend. Because you also learned how to be yourself.

2020 is not the year you ever imagined it to be, it’s the hardest year you’ll have. But it’s also the most growth and perseverance you’ll see in yourself. And boy, it’s well worth the fight.

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