Why My Three Kids Share a Room

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sharing room

How it All Began

Sharing a bedroom wasn’t planned.  Actually, it happened out of necessity.  We have three kids, our son Daxxon is 8, our daughter Zadie is 6 and our youngest son Dutch is 4.  The timing of my pregnancy with our youngest son, Dutch, was a BIG surprise to our little family.  (So much so, that our “pregnancy reveal” to the family, was a positive pregnancy test laying atop the bathroom trash, but that’s a story for another post!) At the time we were living in a small 2 bedroom home.  With two adults and two children, it felt as if we were already busting at the seams.

Sharing Rooms is a Sometimes a Necessity

Let me give you a sense of scale here, our home was so small that if I plugged the vacuum into the hallway outlet, I could sweep the entire house without having to unplug the vacuum.  I like to brag to friends, saying we lived in a “tiny house” before it was popular.  It was our beloved starter home.  We intentionally bought small and affordable so that I could one day stay at home with our kids.  Little did I know that we would one day be cramming five humans (and all of their belongings) into 1000 square feet.

I was paralyzed by the overwhelming news of the impending arrival of our third born. I kept asking the question,  “How am I going to fit all of this “stuff” in this little house?”.  Claiming that another bed might put me over the edge, and another human crying through the night had the potential to send me into orbit; I was about to lose it.

If Other Women Can Do It, So Can I.

At the height of my anxiety, I went to a Bible study at my church.  I spilled my heart out to a table of older, more “seasoned” mothers.  To my right sat a dear friend of mine, Mary.  She looked at me and grabbed my arm and with a firm but supportive tone said, “Honey.  When my babies were little I had FIVE in one room.  Two sets of bunk beds, and a baby crib at the end.  Plus, I didn’t own a dryer, and had to line dry all our cloth diapers”.

As soon as the words poured out of her mouth a wave of peace washed over me.  She validated my feelings, but also gave me the much needed encouragement to tackle this situation head on.  If Mary could do all that, I could at least fit one more bed in our house.  So, instead of her two sets of bunk beds we had one, and I added a baby crib on the other side of the room.  All three kids shared a closet and every item that entered our house had a purpose. I put my engineering skills to test as I maneuvered and finagled all their things to fit into one space.  I did not have the luxury of toys accumulating or wardrobes expanding, because we were limited by the space we had.

My youngest two were already comfortable sharing a room, and when Dutch finally arrived, he fit in seamlessly.  We kept the baby in our room for a little while longer than we did the other two. As soon as he was sleeping through the night, we laid him down in the room with his siblings, and the rest is history.

Sharing a Room Can Create a Lasting Bond

As I sit and type this, I realize that this was the most precious gift I was given; the gift of limitation. Out of it blossomed lovely sibling relationships.  Hours of giggles, and whispers have accrued.  They have made memories and shared countless jokes.  We now live in an “average sized” home, with 4 bedrooms, and guess what… they all three still share a room.  And by choice.  One set of bunk beds, for the boys and a twin sized pink bed for our girl.  It’s perfect for them, for now.

 

three kids

If you are where I was, cramming children into every square inch of a home, remember the saying:

Love grows best in little houses, with fewer walls to separate. 

Where you eat and sleep to close together, you can’t help but communicate. 

If we had more room between us, think of all we’d miss.

Love grows best in little houses, just like this.  

13 COMMENTS

  1. I love it Heather. It is true, love does grow best in little houses. At one point in my life I was cleaning residential homes….big residential homes. Many only had one or two kids. Everything in these houses seemed so “separated”. Dare I say they even seemed cold. My husband and I started building our home a few years ago and we intentionally built it at 1200 sq.ft. No children are living at home now, but we always have company. Between the two of us we have 10 children, 1-soon to be three son in laws, and 1 grandchild. Where does everyone like to go? They come here for holidays. Not all of them at once, but this last year I believe we had 15 consistently. They all said how homey it feels and they get better sleep here than anywhere. We play alot of games, spend a lot of time outdoors and watch movies together, usually several sprawled out with their legs laying across each other. I remember when I was younger, I knew a guy who was the youngest of 14 kids. They grew up in this tiny two bedroom house. I saw the house and couldn’t believe how they managed. I remember him saying he wouldnt have traded it for anything. It is amazing that your three want to remain in the same room for now. I think that is awesome. I am sure they will be close throughout their lives. So proud of you and thankful there are still parents out there willing to sacrifice what the “world” thinks we need and instead take the chance on going back to the basics and keeping things simple. I for one though am so thankful for my dryer and that I never had to deal with cloth diapers! ;).

    • Julie! I think having family gatherings in a small space is just as memorable. When we go to stay with Golda’s parents, we all cram into their house, sleeping on couches and air mattresses and pallets. We always get a good nights sleep, and come home with so many memories. Thanks for reading!!

  2. Awesome read! My brother and I shared till we were in mid elementary school at the beginning by necessity and then by choice! My older two share a room now and we plan on all three girls sharing for a time for so many of the reasons you listed! I think it’s so neat that yours share now by choice now. 🙂

    • Brittnay, I love that you are passing on the legacy of room sharing. Once the littlest is ready, she will fit right in. Three seemed like so many on one space when we first did it, but it’s pretty much the same as two… Just more giggles and memories. ❤️ Thanks for reading.

  3. Hi Heather!
    Is this your first blog?? I absolutely loved it,
    I felt horrible making some of the kids share but what you said makes sense. Your doing an awesome job girlie 🙂 love the picture of the kids! Alora seen Dutch and was super excited lol
    Keep up the good work and can’t wait to read the many more post you have.

    • Tamara! Thanks for reading!! Someday your kids are going to look back and smile because they had to share space. (Even if they complain now. ?) Thabks for readin, and hopefully there will be many more posts here. ❤️

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