I like to live by the “Golden Rule” – treat others as you would want to be treated. When it comes to young girls these days this rule is a hard one. Girls can be just mean and it seems this “mean” is starting younger and younger. I want my kids to know that no matter what, they need to treat others with respect and treat them as they would want to be treated. In our world today, the Golden Rule seems to be a thing of the past.
Here’s a story about a huge life lesson that happened at our house.
Last year my daughter came home telling me about a little girl who was being mean to her. She was very upset because she really liked this little girl, but was struggling because she was so mean.
I asked her specifically what she had been doing and realized this had been going on for a few weeks.
My initial thought was to find out who this little girls mom was and talk to her, talk to teachers, principal, anyone that I could. I prayed about the right way to go about this situation because I didn’t want to turn into “that crazy mom”. When someone hurts our babies we can turn in to that quickly and with good reason. I prayed hard. It hurt my heart that someone would be so mean to my baby.
A few days later, I talked to my daughter again and realized that the little girl seemed to be worse when she got a rise or reaction out of Aubree. I told her to try not to cry in front of her because that’s what she wanted. Instead, just politely walk away or tell her she’s not being nice, but try to not break down which is hard for my daughter’s sweet heart. If she needed to cry, go to the bathroom. I suggested to her to still try to include the girl with the “kill them with kindness” approach, invite her to be a part of what the other girls were doing, etc. But most importantly we prayed – that if something else was going on in her life to cause her to be mean then it would be fixed. We prayed hard and together.
The following week, Aubree came home one day and told me that the little girl actually played with her instead of being a bully to her. The look on her face when she told me this makes me tear up to this day. I think it clicked with her the power of prayer. Now, this approach might not work on every bullying situation but it’s a good start. It never hurts to try the Golden Rule approach. Plus my thought with raising my kids are that one day they will be in the “real world” and won’t necessarily get along well with everyone, but I want them to be able to hold their head high and know that being kind is the way to go. Learning to get along with others is a golden life lesson.
My approach was the spiritual one. It wasn’t easy at times because someone was hurting my little girl and it would have been so much easier to go to her mom or the principal of the school and have the girl get in trouble for being a bully. This also taught my daughter a lesson in dealing with life, plus in the end it turned out better than I could have hoped. I’m proud of her for dealing with it the way she did. Life lessons come early sometimes, it’s how we handle them that shows our true character.
Fast forward to today. Aubree and this little girl are best friends this year. This little girl is the sweetest, most loving friend. Come to find out there were some things going on that she couldn’t control. I am so blessed to have been able to teach Aubree this lesson. It may not turn out like this everytime, but I want her to know that she doesn’t have to act mean toward mean. Always be nice, always be loving and in the end you will be Golden.
Bullying can be a really serious situation and we urge you, as mommas, to really investigate what is going on with your child at school, in the youth group or any other organization if your child is a victim of bullying. Steps might need to be taken in a more serious manner.