The 5 Dumbest Things My Husband Has Done

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Husbands. You love ’em and sometimes you want to hate ’em.

They do so many awesome and wonderful things for us so it’s hard not to love them, but sometimes, there’s no amount of wonderfulness and awesomeness that can save them from doing things that make us wives scratch our heads and say “what?” 

1. The time my husband swan-dived onto our bed…and broke it. 

The kids were all tucked in bed and we were having one of those stay-in date nights. In an effort to “mix things up,” my dear husband decided that it would be fun if we recreated a belly flop contest he participated in once. On his first attempt, he launched himself right onto our bed and promptly after he made his landing we heard a loud crack. The front of the bed had collapsed on the floor.

2. The time my husband tried to recreate the ice cream scene from 50 Shades of Grey Freed. 

I’m sure he THOUGHT he had thought this through entirely when he came up with this idea but I’ll never forget his face when that first spoonful of very cold ice cream hit the skin on his tummy nor will I forget how bad my abs hurt from laughing for a solid 15 minutes.  

3. The time my husband went to the store for grape jelly and came back with grape jam. 

My husband likes to make my life easier whenever he can. He’s always stepping up to make sure I’m not feeling overworked or exhausted or burnt out. One day, we needed grape jelly from the store for something I was making for dinner, but I also had already changed into my comfy clothes and had no plans of leaving the confines of my house. Naturally, he offered to run to the store for me. I made sure to reiterate several times that he needs to make sure he gets grape JELLY and not JAM. I even made sure to text him a picture of the exact item I was looking for so he wouldn’t come home with the wrong item. About 45 minutes later, he comes back home with a shopping bag in hand and in that shopping bag, was a large jar of grape jam. 

4. The time my husband replaced our kitchen sink. 

I’d like to reiterate that I love my husband dearly and I love that he completes ‘honey-do’ lists for me all the time. One of my more recent requests has been to change out our kitchen sink so I can finally do dishes without getting frustrated that nothing fits under the faucet. After researching a number of YouTube videos, the dear husband felt pretty confident he could get the job done, so the materials were purchased and he started the job with every intention of having it finished by the time the kids woke up from nap 3 hours later. About 4 trips to Home Depot, one very long piece of PVC pipe, one lost piece of PVC pipe, one poorly thought out cut to a part of our plumbing, a couple of leaks, and about 12 more hours than planned and the job was finally finished.

5. The time my husband set off the alarm at my parent’s house and woke everyone up. 

We traveled down to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving last year to spend time with my family. Most years our holidays are just spent with my immediate family but this year we had a number of other relatives in town and they were all staying in my parent’s house with us. The bedroom we were staying in was extremely stuffy and neither one of us likes sleeping when it’s warm. My sweet, thoughtful, and caring husband knew I was miserable and made the well-meaning gesture of opening up the bedroom window to let the air circulate, completely forgetting that my parents have a security system they never forget to arm. I’m sure he’ll never open a window in my parent’s house ever again. 

I’ll forever love and I’ll forever be appreciative of the hard work he does for our family, but sometimes, I really wonder how he survived before I came along. 

Do your husbands do things that make you wonder how they got through life or is it just mine?

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