So, This is 40, Eh?

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EIGHTIES BABIES UNITE! Maybe you’ve zoomed past 40, and these will be but small reminders of days gone by. Maybe you aren’t even close to 40 yet, and these will be tiny nuggets of wisdom to look forward to. Either way, for this 1980 baby, this…is 40.

  • Visits to medical professionals somehow always involve a solution that starts with either, “Well, at your age…” or “Well, if you could lose a little weight…”. 
  • I have trained my filter fairly well, but I’ve lost the ability to control my face. If you say something stupid, my face will certainly tell you.
  • The financial prioritization of my beauty routine has certainly changed. It used to be $89 shoes and $15 moisturizer. Now, it’s $15 shoes and $89 moisturizer. 
  • And what happened to my eyeliner skills? My left eye always comes out with the absolutely perfect schwoop, and then my right eye looks like I did it during a massive earthquake. 
  • Speaking of beauty products, I’m placing a lot more importance on what’s in the products I use. Allergens, carcinogens, and potential endocrine disruptors are real things, and as someone who dealt with infertility issues and continues to deal with endocrine and thyroid disease, I wish I had paid attention so much sooner. 
  • I picked up our German Shepherd back in September, pinched my sciatic nerve, and was in actual recovery for 4 months. I used to have a pogo stick and now my recovery time from stupid injuries sustained during normal activity is measured in months and involves a chiropractor, a neurologist, prescription medication, and time off of work.
  • I recently purchased a butt cushion from Amazon for my office chair. It even has a freezable pad for the top, so I can simulate sitting on a wet park bench in the name of posture and comfort anytime I want.
  • The fact that I can’t find my glasses without my glasses is one of the cruelest tricks I’ve ever experienced. 
  • I spend less time worrying about what other people think about me, and way more time worrying if I’m raising a good human and being a good human. 
  • I now have a pillow that is MY pillow and only MY pillow, and it travels with me to many faraway lands. I have reached the point in my life where I will remove a pair of shoes and/or whole outfits so that my pillow will fit in my suitcase. That sassy 25-year-old me would not be impressed, but I can’t deal with hotel trash pillows anymore. 
  • I have come to greatly appreciate my first 10 minutes in the office each day – where I can breathe, have some coffee, and sit in the quiet before diving into the day’s work. 
  • If a shoe has a heel, it’s a fancy shoe. Period. It takes a lot for whatever you’re inviting me to attend to merit a fancy shoe, since I know my feet will hurt for three days after I wear them. Your event better be fun, have good food, and be over by 9 p.m. 
  • I used to wear a full face of makeup every single day. You had to be really special to see me without my face plastered on. Somehow, it’s the exact opposite now. Now, I need verification of an evening’s planned activities, a guest list, and a nap to warrant the effort a full face takes. 
  • Repeat after me: “What the hell is on my shirt?!” Now rinse (literally) and repeat every day for the rest of your life.
  • I recently discovered the absolute best part of Black Friday… and it was getting to unsubscribe to every single company I’ve given my email address to in the last 40 years. 
  • The things you love the very most in your life start to turn against you in ways you never thought possible: social media, cherry limeades, evening news, your kids, shapewear, bread, alcohol, sleep, fabric without 3% spandex listed on the tag, denim…
  • “No, we aren’t having any more kids. Yes, I’m well aware that we only have one. I was there, lady.”

I’m sure this list will grow exponentially as I navigate this new decade of life, so I’ll use the comments below to keep you updated! What nuggets of wisdom do YOU have to share about your 40s? 

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Kelli Bruemmer
Kelli is a native Okie with a larger-than-life personality and an unhealthy dose of sarcasm. She married Bobby in 2011, and they welcomed daughter, Maevyn, in 2013. Maevyn is autistic, and every day is a new adventure in discovering how her unique mind works. Life on their NE Oklahoma City acreage is never dull, and they enjoy RV camping and Sooner football. Kelli is a former law enforcement officer who now works full-time at the Oklahoma Highway Safety Office facilitating programs that keep people safe on our roadways. She also enjoys consulting for Beautycounter, advocating for tougher legislation in the US beauty industry, stifling inappropriate profanity, managing her RBF, looking for the nearest restroom, and trying not to sing Disney songs out loud in public.

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