There aren’t too many things that ruffle my feathers. I don’t have a ton of pet peeves, and my husband and I are fairly chill people.
But there’s something that gets my panties in a bind like nothing else.
If I had a dollar for every time my kids asked me for a snack we’d be living in a snack filled mansion in Beverly Hills.
Oranges in our house are basically the equivalent to crack. Strawberries are pretty much candy from the ground. And don’t even get me started on how long graham crackers and goldfish last on my pantry shelf.
Now that summer is officially in full swing, my kids have taken to snacking like they are a bear preparing for hibernation. They are basically eating us out of house and home.
I had become so accustomed to only providing their daily after school snack that I seriously underestimated the pure amount of snacks that needed to be purchased when school let out. I went to the store and haphazardly purchased a couple of bags of apples and tossed some cheese sticks into the cart.
What a fool I was.
Those bags of apples? Gone in three days. Cheese sticks? Opened in the car.
Little did I know that I would be asked for a snack approximately 1,209,898,234 times a day.
It doesn’t matter how big their last meal is, I know 30 minutes later I will be hounded by the snack questions.
Snacks after soccer games, snacks on play dates, snacks at the movies, snacks All. Freaking. Day. Long.
If I want to be mom of the year during the summer, I don’t have to take them to fancy amusement parks. We don’t have to go on trips to the beach. We can avoid the museums and pools. If I want to be the best mom in the whole world in their eyes all I have to do is be the Oprah of snacks. “You get a snack. You get a snack! Everybody gets a SNAAA-CK.”
I basically just need to make it rain snacks.
My children’s snack obsessions have gotten to the point where when one of my children says the word “snack”, I sometimes react as if they actually said another naughty word that starts with an s.
Kid: “I’m hungry.”
Me: “How are you hungry already?!”
Kid: “I’m STARVING. Can I have a snack?”
Me: “A SNACK?!! NO!! We just ate a four course meal and a buffet!”
And then I am instantly internally conflicted. “Are they really hungry? I’d hate to starve them. They are growing children aren’t they? But they literally just ate!”
However, I have recently discovered a sneaky little trick to determine whether my little snack eating maniacs are actually hungry or if they are simply bored. Now when one of my kids asks for their millionth snack, many times I’ll offer up a snack that’s a little less appealing. Something a long the lines of broccoli or carrots. If they take me up on my generous offer of broccoli, then I know they truly needed a snack.
If they whine and refuse, then they weren’t truly hungry after all. And the double win is that they are actually eating broccoli. BROCCOLI for crying out loud! #MomWin
Now don’t come at me with pitchforks. We feed our kids. I do let my kids have healthy snacks here and there throughout the day. (Heck, they even have the occasional graham cracker or cookie – I’m a rebel like that.)
BUT I just can’t help feeling annoyed at the never ending snack questions. Am I over reacting? Probably! Does that change my feelings on the subject? NOPE.
So solidarity my fellow soul sisters who are knee deep in apples and cheerios and who feel the snack hatred with me.
Now excuse me while I go find the broccoli.