Remembering Mother’s Day When It Isn’t Happy

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Today is Mother’s Day, but before you go check your calendar to confirm that I am wrong, let me tell you that this Mother’s Day is only for certain moms.

International Bereaved Mother’s Day, May 1, 2022 is a day set aside to remember all the mothers who have lost their children to death.

Some mothers were very vocal during their time of loss, weeping and wailing as they were surrounded by the loving arms of friends and families.

Other mothers silently lived out their pain as another baby slipped through their hands and into heaven, having never taken an earthly breath.

Both mothers are filled with aching hearts as they sit with equally empty hands.
You might wonder why I am sharing about this Mother’s Day wracked with pain?

Because, more than likely, you know a bereaved mother. She may not openly tell you about the baby she miscarried, the toddler she handed back to heaven after an accident, or the child she once held through sickness as she watched them slip away. She may not share that her teen or adult child battled depression or addiction that they just couldn’t overcome. No, bereaved moms often do not have the energy to tell you their story.

Many people say nothing because they don’t want to remind the mother of such heartbreak. Others fear being awkward because they don’t know what to say. Either way, the silence hurts.

A bereaved mama never, not for one single moment, forgets. Her pain may lessen with years, but the loss is always with her. You cannot remind her, for her mind always has thoughts of her child tucked just behind her smile. She loves to hear you speak their name, to say you remember that her child lived. If you have a sweet or even ornery memory, it will bring a smile and a laugh to the mother’s heart. Yes, she may cry. But often in grief, laughter and joy go hand in hand with sorrow and tears.

How do I know all this?

I am a bereaved mother.

I still love to hear my daughter’s name spoken. I enjoy telling the funny things she did or said during her lifetime. I love to see what pictures you have, to hear your memories, to know what you miss about her.

When you tell me how sorry you are, I can only say that I am sorry too. Grief hurts! But knowing that she is not forgotten brings joy to my heart, just as time dries my tears.

Always loved, never forgotten.

On this International Bereaved Mother’s Day, take the time to hug a bereaved mother telling her, “I remember your child.”

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