I am well-aware that this is a sensitive topic, and I am contemplating backing out on sharing this as I type. I was born and bred here in Oklahoma and know how deeply passionate the people are about religion, and those who do not believe are few and far between.
This is not a topic that I ever truly discuss until I REALLY get to know someone. I hold off more for my children’s sake rather than my own. The thought of them being judged or left out of certain situations due to our beliefs breaks my heart.
Being raised in the Bible Belt, I feel like my life in one way or another was always somewhat surrounded by the church. My mother was not a Sunday churchgoer for the most part…she would have her phases, but it was never forced upon me. If we did not want to go, she did not make us go.
I always got involved with church through my group of friends… church camps, mission trips, and youth groups were a pivotal point of my upbringing. Almost 99% of my middle school friends went to different schools, but we hung out at youth group on Wednesdays & Sundays.
It was more for social reasons, but I made amazing memories with awesome friends during those times. I REALLY tried to understand and believe in what these people were telling me. I have absolutely nothing against people choosing to be religious. I’m a little jelly in fact. I wish that it could make sense for me, but in all honesty, it just never has and I am pretty positive it never will.
I never actually questioned my religious beliefs until college…let’s just say your girl enrolled in way too many humanities courses. I started getting really interested in different religions.
It blew my mind.
I was beyond confused.
I felt completely betrayed.
I remember going home totally crushed and talking with my mom when she said, “The best advice I can give you is to educate yourself as much as possible on every religion and then just follow your heart.”
Best. Advice. Ever.
Why I personally do not believe in Organized Religion has so many facets and I could honestly write forever, spouting off numerous studies in support of my opinion for a secular household. But I will not do that to you.
There are so many life events that have brought me to this clarity of why I do not want my children raised in the church. I will just explain why I am choosing this road from my parental point of view.
And let’s be real, this is NOT the easiest place to live and have this point of view.
My main reason for raising children in a secular home is that I want my children to be kind & loving humans not because a god says so, but because that is who they choose to be.
I never want to use fear-based tactics on my children in order for them to behave or force them to believe in something that does not feel right for them.
I want to give them the independence and education to make this very important decision for themselves. To truly follow their hearts.
I do not believe in raising my children in church solely for the purpose of fitting in; I just cannot fake it even if every other parent around us is doing it.
Things I do believe in…
Teaching my children empathy and to love with their whole heart.
Showing them the beauty in this world, to appreciate nature, and how to respect & fight for our planet.
To be kind, loving, and understanding.
To never judge or discriminate against any human EVER! We are each unique and special.
I want to always be honest and completely authentic with my children and can only hope I am raising them in an environment where they feel safe enough to do the same.
I will never discourage or try to persuade any of my children on what they ultimately do come to believe.
I believe in allowing them the freedom and opportunity to become the truly amazing little humans I already know they are.
I promise, we are not BAD people. And I am a very spiritual being. My soul just resonates with science, nature, energy, and following the golden rule, rather than the church. We just do not feel comfortable supporting something we do not fully believe in. We just happen to be a secular family.
Do I have any other secular mommas out there?