We’ve all been there. We have a friend or family member who is expecting a baby, and we just can’t wait to buy them a product that was a fan favorite or a life saver in our house. We do this because we know how wonderful the items were for our sanity, and we want to spare the sanity of our new mom friends as best as we can. We are experienced at this whole mom gig, and our friends look to us for help and support. That being said, we need to allow our friends/family members to learn and experience new parenthood the way we were able to, and that’s typically by trial and error. Before you disregard items on their registry because they weren’t a staple in YOUR baby days, think about these few things.
1. Moms put a LOT of time and effort into creating those registries.
They have put hours of research into the items they are asking for, on top of everything else they have to do to prepare for baby. New moms especially are likely scrolling the internet at 2 am making sure they’ve registered for the safest co-sleeper, most functional car seat and the softest swaddles.
Second or third-time moms are likely only adding items to their registry they really NEED, because they have saved so many items from their other babies. To completely disregard the items on the registry they have actually requested, can be insinuated that you don’t value the time they spent preparing the registry, or that you don’t think THEY know what THEY really need for THEIR baby.
2. Babies only need so many blankets.
PLEASE. For the love. Only buy your friends blankets if they request them on the registry. Leave the rest for grandmas and aunts to make. They really only need so many blankets, and typically have only one that is their favorite anyways.
3. Just because an item worked great for your baby, doesn’t mean it will work that well for the next baby.
I can’t tell you how many items I have recommended to friends because they made my life so much easier with a baby, only for the friends to tell me their child didn’t like them or they never used them. Heck, even my second child liked totally different items that we couldn’t have lived without with my first. Case in point – I have two children and I’ve never owned a diaper genie. We just throw our diapers in the trash or dumpster. But, I have several friends who have them in multiple rooms in their house. To each their own.
4. Sometimes your clothing style doesn’t match the style of the new parent
I received SO many outfits that my babies never wore. Not because I’m ungrateful, but simply because they aren’t the style of clothes I would choose for my kids. Unless you know the person and their style really well, please only select jammies/outfits that they’ve specifically requested on their registry.
5. If they don’t need/want the stuff you gave them, they are going to have to make a trip back to the store to return/exchange it.
I was recently at a friends’ shower for her second baby and as she was opening my gift she quietly said “thank you for actually buying stuff off my registry. I have to take back half of this stuff because we don’t need it.” I couldn’t help but feel awful for her thinking about her 36-week pregnant self having to load a car full of stuff up and take it back to the store with her 4-year-old in tow, and then exchange it for the stuff she actually requested ON HER REGISTRY.
We know that ALL gifts are something to be thankful for, and they are given with the BEST of intentions, but please take into consideration the time and effort and thought and love that goes into putting together a baby shower registry. These moms know (or maybe don’t know) what their babies are going to need. It’s not up to us to make that decision for them.