An Open Letter to My Kid-Free Friends


Dear Kid-Free Friend, 

Remember when we used to meet up on a whim and hang out for hours on end, talking about anything and everything? Remember when we made last-minute or late-night trips to the store because we could? Remember all the fun we had?

Yeah, so do I. 

Then, remember when I had that thing? You know, that seven pound, eleven ounce human?

And everything changed.

Then I had two more things in close succession (11 months apart, to be exact), and not only did we stop spending actual time together, but the phone conversations became rare and the texts stopped almost altogether. 

Apart from the occasional “let’s get together” comment on Instagram or Facebook, with no follow-through, our worlds are spinning on different axis. I catch glimpses of your jet-setting life and think about how I can’t wait to hear about your travels! I would love to hear about your new job, that new promotion, or your new significant other!

And even though the triumphs are fun to share, the struggles are just as important! If you are in a season of despair, for whatever reason, I want to know. If it’s job loss, infertility, a break-up, a divorce. Those things are BIG and heavy too. And just because our lives don’t intersect the way that they used to, it’s my job as your friend no matter how far we’ve drifted, to reach out. 

I long to share my journey with you. Not because you’ll find it all that interesting that I got applesauce flung at me and I changed one hundred dirty diapers before dinner, but because in the same way I hope you’d share the big things in your life with me I want to share mine with you! And I have three BIG things. My kids are practically all I think about. And pretty much all I can talk about. They are a part of me now! And so they should be. 

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned since becoming a mom it’s that motherhood and friendship do not mix. Really, truly, if you ask any of your mommy friends what they’re missing in their life they would probably tell you “solid friendships.” Honestly. We make terrible friends! We’re always cancelling plans because of this kid’s rash or that kid’s soccer practice. We struggle to hold conversations because we are so used to being interrupted that sentence structure has become a luxury we can no longer afford. I can’t even…

The bottom line is this: I miss being in each other’s lives. I know we are on vastly different journeys, but I really just don’t care anymore. That’s a lame excuse for being a poor friend. So, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I just want to say I love you. And I’m sorry. And let’s get together. 


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here