You’re Much More Than “Just a” Stay At Home Mom


stay at home momsI’m a stay at home mom. I do work about two hours per week teaching birth classes out of my home, but I don’t really identify myself as a working mom. First of all, my “work” is in my living room and it’s something I love and truly look forward to every week. It feels more like a break.

Secondly, when I think of working moms, I think of magical super heroes who get themselves and their children up and ready every day, out the door, and then put in a solid 8 hours of labor to financially contribute to their family before coming home to a house that needs cleaning, laundry that HAS to be done (because most work places frown upon staying in your jammies all day), and a family that, if they’re anything like mine, expects to be fed Every. Single. Night. I think working moms are amazing, and my weekly two hour shift just doesn’t compare.

Untitled design (11)
A SAHM in her natural habitat.  Yesterday’s hair and no makeup- pajamas in the afternoon. A baby who won’t be put down and a toddler who needs help wiping. (Not Pictured: Mount Laundry)

I recently came across a thread on Facebook in one of my local mom groups asking what everyone’s occupation is. The responses were mostly from moms who work outside of the home.  Most of them simply stated their titles but a few added in their responsibilities and work places. Among their answers was a sprinkling of responses from stay at home moms. I immediately noticed their answers were a bit different. It went one of two ways:

“I’m a SAHM, but I used to…..(fill in the blank: brain surgeon/teacher/accountant/etc.). ”


“I’m just a stay at home mom.”

I have used both of these responses myself when posed with the same question. But somehow, seeing them repeated among the straight forward and unapologetic responses from working mothers, I was struck with the realization that even SAHMs are contributing to the sentiment that our life’s work isn’t as impressive or important as a “real” job.

I have read countless articles and blog posts in defense of the stay at home mom. I have even seen a meme that added up the monetary worth a stay at home mom brings to her family through the labor she freely provides. And in case you haven’t seen it- we would be BANKING if we were paid in dollars instead of hugs and wet kisses. However, all of these posts seem to be directed outward- an effort to convince the world of our contributions and worth. This post isn’t for them.

This post is for my fellow stay at homers. This is directed straight at YOU. Yes, you in the yoga pants wearing yesterday’s make up reading this blog in the bathroom, trying to ignore the little fingers under the door asking if you’re done yet. And, in case your pint sized boss is demanding your attention, here’s the gist: Quit apologizing. Quit justifying. Stop referring to the professional life you used to have when asked what your contribution to society is. It’s not necessary.

Among dozens of responses, I didn’t see a single working mother provide her employment history or past degree.  She stood solely on who she is today.  So why aren’t we doing the same?  We can’t ask the world to value us for the work that we are doing now without first taking pride in it ourselves.

There isn’t one of us who would say that our jobs are easy. In fact, it is stinking hard.  We are never off the clock. We can’t call in sick. My lunch break usually happens around 2 when the baby has finally given in and taken a nap. I spend most of it trying to decide if I should shower, eat or sleep. (And somehow laundry and Food Network usually win out.) Our jobs are endless.

We are multi taskers.

We are nannies.

We are teachers.

We are CEOs and financial planners.

We are chefs.

We are maids.

We are taxi drivers.

We are nurses.

We are personal shoppers.

We are event coordinators.

We are counselors.

We are moms.

And We. Are. Enough.

Please be proud of yourself. Not your previous education or past titles- your today self; because your SAHM self is as valuable as your corporate self. She is sufficient. She is life changing. She is making a difference. Her work ethic is strong. She is contributing to her household, and she is contributing greatly to society.

From one stay at home mom to another, I’m pleading with you to value my work by acknowledging the value in yours. I’m asking you to drop the “just a” before stay at home mom, and to answer proudly when you are asked what it is that you do without feeling the compulsion to use a degree or past employment to validate your worth. Instead of demanding respect and validation from the world, let’s turn our focus inward.

What do we do?

We are stay at home moms. Period.

Previous articleI’m A Slacker School Mom
Next article‘Tis The Season of the Lazy Libido
Becky Walker
I fell in love with my husband, Dustin, when I was a wide eyed 15 year old. I have been a mostly loving wife since June 5, 2010, and a mom since February 16, 2012. I live right by Tinker AFB, and I have three little ones- Lyla, 6, Karrick, 2, and our bonus baby Juliet, almost 1 year old! Along with serving as Community Engagement Manager for OKCMB, I work part time from the closet under our stairs teaching English to Chinese students early in the morning! The most relaxing part of my day is when I drink my whole cup of coffee -HOT- while it’s still dark, and the rest of my house is still and quiet. During the day, the kids and I are out and about, exploring the city and avoiding the laundry. I do my very best to run a happy and healthy household for my husband and the little people God has entrusted to me.


  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post. I need to read this every single day. I welled up with tears of pride as a SAHM, but also regret that I too often forget the importance of the work I do. Thank you so much for this beautiful reminder.

  2. I love the sentiment behind your article. Being a SAHM is an incredibly difficult and often thankless job, no “just” about it! I want to mention, however, that I don’t add “but I used to be a teacher” because I need to, I do it because I want to! I think the hardest part of motherhood has been losing touch with my former self as I adjust to my new identity as the emotional center for my amazing little humans. And that’s something that every mom deals with, working or not. Reminding others that I used to have a day job also reminds me of that part of myself that I don’t want to lose entirely. Because you’re right – it is a life changing job!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here