No More Bras and Other Great Things About Quarantine

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I know some of you are expecting a heartfelt post about how blessed I feel that I’m home with my children and we’re making sweet memories of baking, crafting, and playing board games. 

Honey, this ain’t that type of post. Because let me tell you, any Momma who is two months deep into this foolishness is not baking for fun anymore and those crafts they did at the beginning? Girl, they are LONG. GONE. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful I’m able to have this extra time with my kids (but I don’t cry when they go to bed). No, this post is a tribute to the overlooked good things about this time in the “Quaran-Era”. 

Getting Takeout is Now Called “Helping Small Business” 

After the 3,912th meal I cooked in March, I vowed Friday and Saturday nights would henceforth be known as “Restaurant Roulette” and I was off duty. We’d name off a few local places and pick one at random because if my family thought I was stepping  anywhere near my stove on the weekend, they had another thing coming. Besides, that stimulus check was to help the economy…nobody said I couldn’t spend it all on pigs in a blanket and beer cheese from Pub W.    

Two Words: NO. BRA. 

As a breastfeeding mom, the realization that I didn’t need to wear a bra unless I was actually going inside somewhere was akin to winning the lottery. Plus, now that Amazon and food delivery folks are doing “contact-free deliveries”, there’s literally no need to bind myself in my double-barreled flopper-stopper. Ah, sweet freedom.

Workplaces Are FINALLY Taking Sick Days Seriously 

Pre-pandemic, you would have to have a doctor’s note and a positive throat swab for the flu before managers would sigh and say, “Alright. I guess you need to stay home. But can you finish up the inventory before you leave?” Now, you so much as sniff too loud, and its like that scene from Monsters, Inc. when the hazmat team appears and shaves that poor striped guy. 

Social Distancing Isn’t That Bad

Yes, I miss my friends. Yes, I miss family. So, before you start gathering your pitchforks let me clarify: social distancing while in public isn’t that bad. The signs up in Target telling people to stay six feet away from one another? I’m all for it even if we weren’t fighting a fast-spreading disease. I just want people to get off of me so I can sniff candles and peruse the Joanna Gaines collection in peace. 

What are some of your non-conventional favorite things about this strange new world we’re living in? 

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