“No” is a Complete Sentence


“No” is a complete sentence.

And NO does not mean that you’re a failure.

But I struggle with saying No because I struggle with low self-esteem.

Apparently adding the title “super-everything to everyone” to my already crazy life would make me feel better about myself as a person.

Everyone would just love me and I would be so appreciated by everyone. Isn’t that what every person with low self-esteem wants?

I never lost a friend by saying “I just can’t right now.” So why did I keep pushing myself and refusing to just say “no?”

Because I honestly felt I was going to make a difference in others’ lives.

Did I? Probably Probably? Yes, you read that right. I can’t say 100% of the time I made such an impact that it was worth more than what my family was missing out on with me gone.

As much as I love each and everything I do, it was more than my plate could hold. Things were falling off and not getting the attention they deserved.

My four-year-old was constantly telling her baby dolls “Hold on, mama’s busy.”

I was missing out on precious memories of bedtime stories, time with my husband, and my house was far from a tranquil environment for numerous reasons.

Something had to change.
It was time to evaluate my life.

Service work is in my blood. I loved everything on my plate. And I felt most were not really taking up too much time. Maybe 45 minutes a week, some took hours a week. But when I added up everything on my weekly to-do list, I realized I had more time devoted to service than I did waking hours.

So that was why I was up till midnight most nights and up by 6:30. I was always exhausted, and everything was a mess. 

I learned that a saying “No” means saying “yes” to the ones that matter most – the tiny humans I was raising. Was I raising them to have strong boundaries, or to be run ragged and ran over?

I still do a lot of service work, but not at the cost of my sanity.
I pick the right yes.
I ask for help when I need it.
I take time for me, alone.

And that balance I needed so desperately, now tips to the side of family and sanity over stress and the false need of acceptance by people who just don’t matter in the long run.

Don’t let anyone guilt you into a yes when “no” is your answer.

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I like to color outside the box. House keeping is not my spiritual gift, but I love to make food for my friends in times of trouble, or just because! I love Jesus a lot and am constantly working on my mouth. My filter is extra small. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to be married to my wonderful husband. My two grandsons are “Sugars” buddies. Bug, dirt, chaos and all. I probably love my dog more than most people. If you need a reason to smile, I will give you two! And if you hang around me any time at all, I’ll make you laugh, probably at my own expense. I’m a glass overflowing person 95% of the time, but I struggle with depression, which comes with being a former drug addict. I celebrated 12 years clean in December. I love to write, cook, laugh and craft!


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