And NO does not mean that you’re a failure.
But I struggle with saying No because I struggle with low self-esteem.
Apparently adding the title “super-everything to everyone” to my already crazy life would make me feel better about myself as a person.
Everyone would just love me and I would be so appreciated by everyone. Isn’t that what every person with low self-esteem wants?
I never lost a friend by saying “I just can’t right now.” So why did I keep pushing myself and refusing to just say “no?”
Because I honestly felt I was going to make a difference in others’ lives.
Did I? Probably Probably? Yes, you read that right. I can’t say 100% of the time I made such an impact that it was worth more than what my family was missing out on with me gone.
As much as I love each and everything I do, it was more than my plate could hold. Things were falling off and not getting the attention they deserved.
My four-year-old was constantly telling her baby dolls “Hold on, mama’s busy.”
I was missing out on precious memories of bedtime stories, time with my husband, and my house was far from a tranquil environment for numerous reasons.
Something had to change.
It was time to evaluate my life.
Service work is in my blood. I loved everything on my plate. And I felt most were not really taking up too much time. Maybe 45 minutes a week, some took hours a week. But when I added up everything on my weekly to-do list, I realized I had more time devoted to service than I did waking hours.
So that was why I was up till midnight most nights and up by 6:30. I was always exhausted, and everything was a mess.
I learned that a saying “No” means saying “yes” to the ones that matter most – the tiny humans I was raising. Was I raising them to have strong boundaries, or to be run ragged and ran over?
I still do a lot of service work, but not at the cost of my sanity.
I pick the right yes.
I ask for help when I need it.
I take time for me, alone.
And that balance I needed so desperately, now tips to the side of family and sanity over stress and the false need of acceptance by people who just don’t matter in the long run.
Don’t let anyone guilt you into a yes when “no” is your answer.