Mothering into My Forties

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I remember when I was younger, looking up to my parents thinking they were so “grown up” in their 40s. They had fancy business meetings, they had all the cool sharpies and highlighters, and they got to make all the rules. My dad was the life of the party. My mom was equally entertaining, and they were having fun. 

 

Now here I am, in my 40s raising four little humans who now look up to me. (Whew, that’s a lot of pressure in itself!) Do you ever look back over the years to see how far you’ve come…how much you have evolved? 

 

In our 20s, we were wild and carefree with limited responsibilities. It was our time of self-discovery.

 

In my 30s, a lot of learning and life happened after having four little boys. Colic, sleep deprivation, crying over spilled milk (pumped milk), sleep training, pulling over in parking lots to pump, feed or change a baby, reading every parenting book and praying I was doing something right. I wore maternity clothes and nursing bras most of my 30s. My days of scrapbooking, shopping “in” the mall, late nights with friends were things of my past. I discovered the smell of a newborn baby, and the meaning of true unconditional love. The values I held in my heart became stronger and traditions were started. My body changed and so did my mind. This was the decade I felt like I lost a part of myself in the trenches of motherhood. 

 

Then came the 40s. It’s a time of awakening mixed with a little aging (I mean, it’s inevitable, right?) The new wrinkles, the hormonal night sweats and the lackluster (gray) hair. My friends and I don’t talk about weddings or getting pregnant anymore. We talk about hormone imbalances, mini hysterectomies, diastasis recti and face creams. The 40s also brought the more confident me, and setting boundaries became easier. We make time for things that fill our cups and friendships bring a new meaning and depth.

 

The 40s are truly empowering. We are stronger moms and blossoming into the new version of ourselves. I don’t worry about as much as I did in my earlier years. Somedays we have it all together and some days we are unorganized and a hot mess, and that’s OK! I also haven’t made a Pinterest craft in a while; my kids look like misfits most of the time and they eat eggs for dinner, a lot. We love our kids and know we will make mistakes and that is ok, because we are learning grace. I love watching friends around me pursue new passions that were put on the back burner such as writing a new children’s book, starting a new business adventure, finally getting organized, re-connecting with long-lost friends and thriving.

To all the new moms, mommas in the trenches of mothering and feeling defeated or lost: just remember you are growing, A LOT. Keep going because on the other side is a beautiful new version of you.

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