One of the first pieces of advice I received during pregnancy was probably,”Sleep while you can!”. I was given fair warning that babies aren’t born knowing how to sleep on command. However, the months (okay- years if you are my children) waiting for a baby to learn to sleep through the night brought me beyond any level of tired my pre-baby self had known.
It was the first time in my life where the bags under my eyes had bags under their eyes, and no concealer in the land was up for the job. Now that I have a newborn and a toddler, I’m just living my life hoping my shirt is on right-side out. I’ve completely forgotten how to math, and coffee is more than a beverage, it’s my BFF. If you have suffered through a few embarrassing moments in the name of sleep deprivation, dear sweet mama, you are not alone. For your entertainment, and with the help of my mama friends, I have compiled a list of 20 real life sleepy mama moments.
- I stood, frustrated, on my front porch when the door refused to open as I pounded the “Unlock” button on my car key.
- I searched high and low for my daughter’s crayons only to find them next to the mayo- in the fridge. Guess who put them there.
- My husband and I searched the bed frantically for the baby before realizing she was in her crib, asleep!
- I forgot to wash my hair in the shower- but I thoroughly rinsed it!
- During my afternoon pump session, I realized my underwear was backwards, and I’d been working like that. all. day.
- I looked everywhere for my glasses to read her a bedtime story, before I realized I was wearing them.
- I answered the TV remote when the phone rang. Funnily enough, the phone kept ringing but the TV turned off.
- My husband got up to bring me the baby. He brought me a pillow.
- I still get super upset when the light switch next to the sink doesn’t turn the water on/off.
- I went to clean my pump parts and put a lid on the full bottles I’d just pumped. Instead I put one of the bottles full of milk under running water instead of the pump parts, needless to say I had to dump the bottle.
- When my twins were crawlers I was looking everywhere for my daughter. I was on the verge of getting frantic, looking in the same places twice when I realized she was on my hip! I had been carrying her the whole time. Serious sleep deprivation!
- I’ve started the coffee without a mug or pot to catch it.
- I put all of our groceries away in the pantry. All of them. Milk. Eggs. Meat… Oops.
- I have had the same PIN for more than 5 years, but when checking out at the grocery store, all I could do was come up with “something something 4 something”. I had to call my husband for the other numbers (and then show my ID!).
- When my daughter was a little over a year old, I thought I would be a super awesome mom and clean all her plastic toys in bleach water. I turned on the sink in the laundry room and left it to fill up. 15 minutes later I was sitting on the couch (doing nothing!) and I thought, “man the washing machine has been going for a long time”… Nope, it was still the sink and the laundry room was full of water… Luckily there is a drain in the floor of that room!!
- I was changing my daughter’s diaper in a dimly lit room. I scooped her up to go back to bed and panicked when I could only feel one of her legs. I felt around frantically, looking for her second leg, to find it tucked into her diaper.
- I left the door of our minivan open- like COMPLETELY- while I went shopping. I took my time in the store for over an hour, and I totally freaked out when I got back to the parking lot!
- Clothes in the trash can. Trash in the washer.
- I held the pacifier in my baby’s ear and continued to bounce, sway and shush her. I could not understand why she suddenly wouldn’t take it!
- I went to get the mail with my boob fully exposed after breastfeeding. Thank goodness we have a mail LADY.
We can all agree that moms have the absolute BEST most adorable reasons for our exhaustion! Before we know it, we will be begging our teenagers to get out of bed before noon on the weekends (which I, admittedly, am a little bit excited about!). But for now, I’ll remember that they’re only little for a little, and that they won’t need me this much forever.
Whether you’re in the trenches with me, or if sleepless nights are completely in your rear view mirror, I would love to hear your sleepy mama stories!