Mama, What Do You Need to Walk Away From?


How many times have you told your kids to WALK AWAY from an emotionally charged situation? All of us know this temporary conflict management technique and encourage our kids to use it. This timeout allows space and time for everyone to regulate emotions and prevent words or actions that might be regretted.

The “walk away” technique can also be permanent to set boundaries for relationships, achieve dreams and find your true self without the influences of others and society. A permanent decision should be made with great wisdom, discernment, and counsel from trusted friends and mentors. It should never be emotionally fueled.

Sometimes we walk away from big things. Other times we walk away from small things. Either way, the empowerment that comes from the decision to walk away will motivate you and put you right where you need to be to reach your maximum potential.

I walked away from four things over the past 30 days. May they be an inspiration to you!

Walk away from the ottoman tray!

I love home decor. As a young girl, I designed my M.A.S.H. awarded mansion with the help of Southern Living and JCPenney magazines. I cut and pasted for hours as I dreamed big with an unlimited budget.

Now, fast forward to the adult reality of home decorating. It requires a budget. It takes years and years to feel finished. My husband lets me take the lead on color selections, decor, and furniture allowing my inner child’s creativity to come to life. The only thing that my husband has a strong opinion on is the functionality of the space.

“Will you please remove the decorative tray on the ottoman? I want to put my feet on it. The kids want to plop down on it. I always move the tray when the Nerf wars start. I know it won’t look like a magazine, but it’s my one request,” said my husband. 

Gulp! What! Why? The ottoman tray is a must to cover the 24″ diameter of fabric. I don’t want a dark gray mushroom in the middle of the room. What an eyesore!

After pondering his request, I knew he was right. We want a cozy home where our kids can be kids without the fear of breaking a decorative jar, knocking over a diffuser, or leaving a water ring on a leather-bound book.

This season of life calls for a balance of decor and functionality. I need to walk away from the ottoman tray. If you need one, let me know as I have a few.

Walk away from being a bronze goddess!

I am a fair-skinned brunette that always wanted tan legs like my friends. After a long day in the pool, I am a fried lobster that peels and returns to the same fair skin. After a thirty-minutes in the tanning bed, I glowed a rose pink, not bronze like the poster girl on the wall.  

I tried and tried for years with my only process being skin damage. I am a skin cancer survivor. My first skin cancer diagnosis was in 2007. It alarmed me enough to start wearing at least 15 SPF sunscreen. The second skin cancer diagnosis was melanoma in 2010. It popped up while I was pregnant. This one scared me into wearing no less than 50 SPF sunscreen and a Kentucky Derby hat.

Remember we must look beyond the reflection in the mirror. We must look deeper to celebrate your beautiful heart and your kind soul. That’s the real you who is wonderfully and perfectly made. 

Even after six skin cancer battles, I still have to reset my perspective and affirm my behaviors to embrace and protect my fair skin. It’s a struggle. 

If you see a white beacon shining bright at the pool, don’t run. It’s just me because I had to walk away from being a bronze goddess!

Walk away from the mindless scroll!

Did you know that the average person spends almost three hours a day on social media? I saw that statistic and thought no way, especially not for me. Well, yes way!

Last night was family movie night. The boys picked Star Wars. Even though I am an eighties kid, I have never been a fan of Star Wars. I got comfy on the couch, devoted ten minutes to the movie, and then grabbed my phone to see what everyone else was doing.

Who else enters the parent phone zone during a family movie night? Be honest.

I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled with no recall of who dined out for dinner or who was at the lake or who saw a cardinal in the yard. My choice to scroll lead to a daily screen time total of two hours and seven minutes. Oh no, I was almost the statistic. 

To put that in perspective, we have 24 hours in a day. We need at least seven hours of sleep.  We need one hour of exercise. We need two hours to eat three meals. We need nine hours for a paycheck and commute time. So, 24 minus 7 minus 1 minus 2 minus nine equals 19 hours are reserved and five hours are free. Keep in mind that bathing, errands, and quality time with those you love are not accounted for in this quick time allocation.

I have a love-hate relationship with my phone that needs to become healthy with some boundaries. My phone has a new home on the nightstand during family movie night. It is time to walk away from the mindless scroll to allow for mindfulness to return! 

Walk away from the ghost!

Let’s go back to the 1939 children’s book that featured Casper the friendly ghost. Casper flew around the haunted house seeking friends. This goal was the complete opposite of his friends who wanted to scare humans. Boo! Boo!

I recently found myself at a crossroads of all things personal and professional. I existed in the daily grind. I survived the drama, chaos, and unhealthy environment. I served others giving 110 percent and putting myself last. I was a ghost swooping throughout my home.

I was a ghost. I was Casper. I didn’t say Boo! I said Who! Who am I?

The only person that can answer that question is me.

It was a hard few months of walking through the wilderness to identify what was sucking my joy. I turned to prayer, my therapist, and my wise mentors to determine the best path forward to find peace, contentment, and energy. Unfortunately, I had to do all the work because the Ghostbusters were booked through the end of the year.

Just a few days after making a life-changing decision, my husband said, “the sparkle in your eye is back.” This sweet affirmation led to lots of sparkles as tears flowed down my face. 

Your family needs you, the real you. It is time to seek help and walk away from the ghost!

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A mom to four kids, a daughter and three bonus sons, and a professional in human resources, Heather has a passion for personal growth both at home and in the workplace. She believes that we all must embrace and love the present moment in every circumstance. Heather enjoys Oklahoma sunrises and sunsets, football Saturdays, the color pink and coffee talk. Follow Heather at


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