One afternoon, my daughter and I were sitting on the couch watching Daniel Tiger – an amazing PBS Kids show that is basically Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood reincarnate, in case you’re not already a PBS Kids fan mom like me. Daniel Tiger’s mom was teaching him a lesson about enjoying the present – enjoy the wow that’s happening now was her message. And it hit me – I need get better at this. So I started learning more and practicing mindfulness and meditation with great benefits. I feel more present, calm, and centered, a lot like how Mom Tiger behaves, actually.
And as it turns out, this lesson from Daniel Tiger impacted my life in a big way. It helped me move through and past the emotional pain of miscarriage.
Trying for baby number two is filled less with ease and excitement, and more with boxes of ovulation test strips and stress. It doesn’t help that my biological clock is ticking louder than crickets on a hot summer night.
After many years of trying to avoid pregnancy, actually trying to have a baby can be super stressful. Each month, I anxiously await to find out if menstruation will occur or if I’m pregnant this time. I’m constantly guessing, trying to decipher if my symptoms are that of egg implantation or pre-menstrual, which, annoyingly, are very similar.
One month, because of strange symptoms, I decided to take a pregnancy test, and sure enough, it was positive. But I instantly knew something was wrong. I was filled with excitement, hope, and fear, which soon turned to anger, sadness, and anxiety when my doctor confirmed the lost pregnancy. Losing a pregnancy at any stage is heartbreaking, no matter how far along.
The difficulty of this is amplified by a toddler, whose needs don’t end just because of my emotional struggles. While I felt like just crawling in a hole, she needed her mom to be present both physically and emotionally.
So I remembered the lesson about being present from Daniel Tiger. I relied on my mindful practices and used meditation to guide myself through the emotions, feel them, sit with them, and move on from them so that I could be more present in my life now.
Avoiding difficult emotions doesn’t make them go away, so it’s important to have the ability to process and work through it. Daniel Tiger has so many great lessons for emotional management and teachable moments that both my toddler and I benefit from. We use Daniel Tiger phrases and songs as part of our daily interaction, and it helps me reinforce the things I teach her, so it’s a good reminder for myself, too, to practice what we learn.
Practicing mindfulness and meditation helps me find calm and embrace the present as it is, while letting go of anxiety and worry. It’s something that’s helped me in all areas of life, especially motherhood, and gives me the space to be more present with my daughter so I can enjoy her toddlerhood. I’m not zen mom all the time, but certainly a lot more chill.
I don’t know what the future holds for me or my family, but I do know that I am very grateful for the ability to enjoy every bit of it as it is now. So thank you, Daniel Tiger, for once again reminding me to enjoy the wow that is happening now.