Love Thy Neighbor?

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood taught me so many important lessons as a kid that still ring true for me today. Those social and emotional skills were tested just the other day…

At the grocery store last Sunday afternoon, I collected groceries for the week with my 3-year-old son. After finding all the items on our list, I intentionally chose the self-check-out line with the long conveyor belt because we had over 50 items. I wanted my son to scan the groceries, and I knew this would take a while. I knew giving him an important job (scanning) would keep him from fussing or asking for candy. 

My son was standing in the cart, picking up items, and putting them on the scanner. As he grabbed the next item, I would organize the item into one of the bags. 

A small family got in line behind us and quickly realized that we would be a while. They promptly found another lane. 

A few minutes later, an older woman with a cart and a handful of items got in line behind us. I tried to make eye contact with her several times and smile. This smile was an olive branch; a plea for understanding. 

After several minutes, the woman walked around my cart toward me and said, “Will you hurry up?” 

I froze and sort of chuckled…

I was expecting her to say something about my little boy: ask how old he is, acknowledge how he was being a big helper, or tell me how cute he is – my typical experience with strangers and my boys in the grocery store. Seriously, I thought she was messing around.

I finally asked, “Are you joking?”

She harshly replied, “No! I am not joking!” 

“O-kay?!” I replied. (Still in total shock! I would never say this to another mother -or anyone for that matter!) 

As I started to move a little quicker, the young man monitoring the self-checkout lanes immediately stepped in.

He calmly stated, “Ma’am, you should be patient. You cannot talk to her like this. Everyone has the right to be here.” 

She turned around and walked away leaving her groceries behind. 

The employee took the cart, and I visited with the next woman in line as she replayed the conversation from her point of view. 

I was flabbergasted. Could she not have moved to another lane? Should I not have had my son help me? Had I been in the wrong? After all, it was a Sunday between lunch and dinner. I waited to go until this time so that we would not be in a rush. I couldn’t help but stew. My mind could not stop thinking about how this could have gone differently. 

Later, as my emotions subsided, I remembered the quote by Mister Rogers:

“When I was a boy and I saw scary things on the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’”

While this was by no means scary, it was anxiety inflicting. 

I decided to focus on the helpers around me: the young man that had the words when I did not, the couple by the filtered water station that witnessed and thanked the employee for stepping in, and the woman that was next in line. I was grateful for these neighbors who turned this bleak encounter into a positive learning experience instead. 

Lastly, I remembered that Mister Rogers did not call his viewers ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ or ‘friends’; he called everyone ‘neighbor.’ From the gospel of Matthew, we are taught to love your neighbor as yourself.

Therefore, I want to extend grace to the impatient woman. I hope she is okay because I wish her no ill will. I just want to know, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”