Growing up, there was a show that always made me chuckle funny – “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” If you are too young to remember this show, youtube it. It is hilarious. Basically, it was Bill Cosby asking kids questions and then busting a gut when they answered them.
Well, life with my four year old son, who I affectionately call Jman, is a lot like watching this show 24/7. Here are just a few of my favorite comments from this week:
1. “Mom, guess what! I have suction cups on my feet. Well, there are not real suction cups but they work similarly. ”
As I look at his feet, the Rolodex in my mind starts flipping through what he has access to that can create suction like cups on his feet….hmmm…glue?!? Me: Did you put glue on your feet?
Jman: How did you know?!
2. While at Martial Arts, Jman ran into a set of kick bags and yelled, “Ah! My acorns!”
The father next to me couldn’t keep a straight face, but potty talk is definitely something I try to discourage. Although my husband couldn’t stop laughing either when I told him the story…is this a guy thing? I guess we will have to do without Alvin & the Chipmunks for a while.
3. I asked Jman, as he was watching gymnastics practice, “Would you like to do gymnastics?” Still watching their movements he said, “No, but I like their suits!”
Needless to say, he and daddy got to have a wonderful chat about how we can admire God’s creations but not gawk at them, which “by the way mom, means staring.”
4. “Hey, guys!” (Pointing to a lady in the chair next to him.) “That lady has white hair. That means she is about to die!”
I quickly rushed to his side and reminded him that his Mima has white hair, mommy has a few gifted to me by himself, and his papí has quite a few too, but that doesn’t mean we are going to die right now. Thankfully, this wonderfully gracious woman, simply laughed out loud and said something to show me that she wasn’t offended at all. Oh, I could have hugged her blessed soul!
5. “Mima, do you know you have a vagina?”
Yes, we are teaching our children proper anatomical terms. However, this seems to come at a price since you never know when they might use their new found vocabulary.
6. “Mom, now that I can wipe my own bottom, I can take care of all the baby duties – diaper changes, feedings, putting him in the saucer and swing.”
The next time I started to change his baby brother, Jman quickly ran up to my side and reminded me he is in charge of all baby duties. As I held his wiggly brother down, my son tried to figure out how to undo the diaper. He momentarily paused and out of deep concern asked if it was a poopy or peepee diaper. Since it was a peepee diaper, he sighed in relief and proceeded. The first thing he blurted out once he opened his little brothers diaper was, “MOM, his penis is soooo tiny!”
7. “I’ll go o-ko-no-ko on you!”
What? You’ll do what? Finally, after much head scratching and investigating, I realized that my son was not speaking in Japanese but was once again trying to quote Alvin from “Alvin and the Chipmunks.” Apparently, Alvin says, “I’ll go loco on you!” Now, I know how Dave feels…AL-VIN!!!!!
8. My personal favorite!
As I dropped him off at his Mima and Papa’s tonight, he ran to the end of the driveway and yelled to me, “Mom, life won’t be the same without you!”
Touché, Jman. My life would never be the same without you. You brighten my day more than you can imagine and with all the funny things you say, give me an amazing ab workout to boot!