In Defense of the Geriatric Millenials


On my way to work this morning, on my very favorite morning radio show, I heard a term completely foreign to me: geriatric millennial. Apparently, it refers to those of us born between 1980 and 1985. 

Listen, I’ve been called a lot of things in my life. I wore a uniform for more than half of my professional career and have been called every name in the book, but this one hit a little different. In fact, there was a time not too long ago that I would’ve been pretty chapped about being labeled like that. As a January 1980 baby, I’m stuck on the cusp between Gen X and this new geriatric millennial thing, but in all honesty, I think I actually might have hit the jackpot. Here’s why I think this group is the best:

  • I wrote research papers without the internet, without a personal computer, in my college library’s computer lab. 
  • Speaking of the library, I understand the Dewey Decimal System.
  • I knew everyone’s phone number by heart. 
  • If I really liked you, I made you a mix tape of songs recorded off the radio, and that took so. much. effort.
  • Most of the bad decisions of my youth are not immortalized in digital format. Thank God.
  • I saw Garth Brooks in concert when he was new AND after he got older, and he was unbelievable both times. 
  • DVR and on-demand TV was not a thing. If you missed it when it aired, you just missed it, and that meant that we watched things together as a family. 
  • I took typing in high school, and my cursive is impeccable.
  • Every car in my family had one or two of those giant map books for roadtrips, and we never knew where we actually were until there was a road sign. 
  • When texting became a thing, each message sent or received cost $0.10, and we had to push 11 buttons to type the word “love.” One time, I got in major trouble for $40.00 worth of texts in one month. 
  • We played the original Oregon Trail in school, and BOOM, you can still play it online here! (Good luck getting anything done for the rest of the day – you’re welcome!)
  • Friday nights at Blockbuster with my parents were the best.
  • A little later in life, MySpace became a thing, and to this day, I miss moving people around my Top 8 and setting a song that represents my mood of the day. I even miss the calls from my on-again-off-again asking “what’s that song supposed to mean?!”

Those of you who grew up with laptops, iPhones, unlimited texting, digital photos, and GPS may have enjoyed some early luxuries, but the rest of us remember a time without all that nonsense – and it was great... Even if my Apple watch does make me feel a little bit like Dick Tracy.

What do you miss about our childhoods, fellow geriatrics??

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Kelli is a native Okie with a larger-than-life personality and an unhealthy dose of sarcasm. She married Bobby in 2011, and they welcomed daughter, Maevyn, in 2013. Maevyn is autistic, and every day is a new adventure in discovering how her unique mind works. Life on their NE Oklahoma City acreage is never dull, and they enjoy RV camping and Sooner football. Kelli is a former law enforcement officer who now works full-time facilitating programs that keep people safe on Oklahoma roadways. She also enjoys consulting for Beautycounter, advocating for tougher legislation in the US beauty industry, stifling inappropriate profanity, managing her RBF, sharing inappropriate memes, looking for the nearest restroom, hiding her love of Taylor Swift, and trying not to sing Disney songs out loud in public.


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