I was out to dinner with six ladies whose lives were intertwined with mine through church and community. Orders had been taken, sodas were being sipped, and menus had been handed to the server.
We were settling in to conversations around the table when one of these precious voices seemed to ring above the crowd and pierce my heart a little with the words, “I’m just so glad my husband keeps me in the loop. I don’t think I could go without talking at least twice a day while he’s at work.”
Why was this seemingly unimportant fragment of my friend’s conversation resonating so deeply and desperately with me?
You see, my husband doesn’t regularly do that, the communicating during the day thing. We rarely talk during the work days, despite my best (and worst) attempts to. Sharing about his day, during his day, is not the way my man is naturally wired to communicate.
To be honest, I often find myself throwing a tiny pity party, party of one, because it feels like my husband doesn’t want to connect with me while we’re apart. And yes, I tend to take it personally.
That particular comment built a root of bitterness that continued to grow over the next few days and months and before I knew it, I may have exploded on him about our total lack of unhealthy communication. And it may have led to an explosion of everything else he was doing wrong, as compared to my friends’ husbands.
And it may have not turned out well.
Friends, take it from me, as someone who is still learning this lesson (hello, hard-head!), that comparing your husband to anyone else is only robbing YOU of enjoying the husband you DO have.
Do you know what I started doing in that season? I started writing a list, every day, of at least five things I appreciated about my husband.
At first I thought it was going to be difficult. (Did I mention I might be hard-headed?)
Guess what? It wasn’t hard at all. Some days I didn’t stop at just five, as the words just kept coming and coming.
And guess what else?
He may not be great about talking to me during the day, but he’s really good at about 437 other things.
Like, REALLY GOOD.
That’s because husbands are all different.
And I’m glad.