You’ve come here looking for answers on how to take the most fa-la-lovely family photo.
And I’ve got a cornucopia of solutions waiting just for you.
In no time, you’ll be holding a picture so amazing even your mother-in-law won’t be able to say something petty.
The 5 steps in effectuating this picture-perfect day are:
1. Find a field. Any field.
Listen. Little Paisley could be actively trying to cut her brother, and it won’t matter. Why?
Because The Field never fails.
Like your favorite pair of leggings, the field’s gotchyou.
Did Tanner cross his eyes? Yes.
Does anyone care? NO.
The waving wheat and splendid sunlight have distracted us from the fill-in-the-blank show going on behind the scenes.
The best part? You’ve watched enough true crime documentaries to spot the ideal area.
However, let’s think less “Making a Murderer” and more “Field of Dreams.”
Is Shoeless Joe about to walk out of the corn and say cheese?
I don’t know but that’s the kind of energy you need. #GoTheDistance
2. Wrap your family in a blanket
Yes, you read that right.
I’m gonna need you to become a human hot-pocket of Christmas goodness for the sake of the picture.
Find a flannel blanket, everyone get in and hug. It’s just that simple.
If you don’t like your family enough to embrace, then lay the blanket on the ground and sit on it.
Now, look at each other and laugh at nothing.
This may be the most uncomfortable 13 seconds of your life, but the pretty picture will last a lifetime.
And that’s the kind of Christmas magic we’ve been seeking since George Bailey helped Clarence get his wings. #IfYouKnowYouKnow
3. Practice your bribes in the mirror
*cracks open Xanax bottle*
Let’s be honest.
Your go-to bribes aren’t going to cut it, Kelly.
It’s time to level up.
You need better, more believable bribes to get you through this day of photogenic fun.
Portrait pleasantries such as, “smile!” are for rookies.
A seasoned pro knows to master the delivery of “I’ll buy you a cherry red corvette” or “I will literally build you your own Disney Land,” because the tantrums may not stop for anything less.
This may be the worst advice in the world, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
4. Add a pet
Nothing, and I mean, nothing gets people more hyped than seeing your Labrador retriever in a sweater vest or reindeer antlers.
Not only is this the content we want, it’s the content we deserve.
Knowing you went to the trouble of making your four-legged family member stay still long enough to get the shot makes me respect you even more.
Add a horse in the aforementioned field??
I mean, this actually might put someone in a cuteness-induced coma.
However, it’s time to go big or go home in 2021.
5. Coordinate colors but not too much
This one is tricky, and perhaps the most important.
You need to wear outfits that say, “look how cool and hip we are,” without being mistaken for a non-denominational pastor and worship team.
But if you match too much, you run the risk of looking like the Duggars.
Finding a balance is key, so sprinkle in a few of the same colors throughout the family.
Most importantly, wear something YOU feel beautiful in, and then make everyone else’s outfit work with yours.
Do you hear that? That’s the sound of someone complimenting your Christmas card.
Be sure to swipe up for my tips on holiday small talk, enter my code: CanWeNotDoThis.
And don’t forget to tag me in your pictures at @MarkedByMeredith on Instagram so I can share.
Now go find a field and make me proud.