Pumpkin spice is back.
I’ll wait for all of you to stop cheering, high-fiving, and playfully jumping into leaf piles…are you good now? Okay, good.
I am going to tell you a dark, dirty secret that may get me kicked out of all womankind – I hate pumpkin spice.
There. I said it. It’s abysmal. Are there things worse than pumpkin spice flavored and scented things? Perhaps war, famine, and BLACK LICORICE. Don’t even get me started on black licorice. *Shudder* Nevertheless, still I find it repugnant and yet it is EVERYWHERE, from granola to deodorant.
Do you even know how many innocent baby pumpkins are drained of their life force to feed your insatiable pumpkin spice frenzy? Well…not that many, since technically “pumpkin spice” is actually just cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice and cloves. But you can imagine the carnage if more actual pumpkins were involved.
Since I am clearly in the minority with my opinion and since I’m also a people pleaser, I am here today to offer you up a long list of recently-spotted pumpkin spice or pumpkin spice-ish products I’ve seen while out and about. Prop up your Ugg-booted feet and grab a pen and paper, ‘cause I’m about to blow ya minds. A lot of these were peeped at Target because…well…I’m there a lot.
Good & Gather pumpkin pie granola
Life cereal pumpkin spice (so quite literally “that pumpkin spice Life”)
Cracker Barrel Sweet’s dark chocolate pumpkin spice sticks
Stōk Cold Brew Coffee in OMG # pumpkinszn
Great Value pumpkin spice syrup (they also have a candy corn version if ya wanna get really crazy)
Too Faced pumpkin spice eyeshadow palette (it is literally pumpkin pie scented, you guys!) and they have a psl melted matte lipstick to match as well!
Obviously this list is not comprehensive, but it’s a darn good start for all you PSL lovers. Allegedly, the combination of spices comprising pumpkin spice is believed to ward off evil spirits. I’m not so sure what that says about me regarding my aversion to it, but you mamas can keep it all for yourselves. May your hearts and shopping carts be full to the brim with spicy treats, because in a few short months it will be Christmastime, and the flavors of hot cocoa, peppermint and cinnamon will reign supreme once more. And my life will finally make sense again.