I’m not one to give myself a pat on the back very often, but sometimes you make a great decision in parenting and a little end zone celebration is deserved. Moms are notorious for placing the needs of everyone else above their own, which is honorable and great until they have nothing left to give. So here I am to share one of my finer decisions in hopes that moms with a need in this area will find what they need.
Our little tribe started as a zoo hangout with a rather random assortment of girls who attended college together years ago and just happened to have baby boys around the same age whom they stayed home with. A little awkward? Yes, at first. See, I think each of us remembered the “college version” of the others and let’s be real- parenthood changes people (thank goodness!). We gave these get-togethers the name “playgroup” but to be honest it started out as mommy-support time. “My kid threw a monster fit in Target… Mine pooped on the rug… Any ideas on biting?… Where did you get those super cute sweatpants?”
So here is the pat-on-the-back moment. We were all nervous to take the leap and find the support we desperately needed (it truly does take a village!) but we did it! And even though it was weird at first, we kept coming back. And thank God we did, because here is a list of some of the battles we faced together:
- Tough parenting days
- Marriage struggles
- Miscarriages
- Addiction
- Pregnancy complications
- Nursing challenges
- Moving
- Transitioning to 2 children
- Child speech delays/ECI
- Preemie baby
- Loss of family members
- Financial stresses
Y’all, life can be relentless! Each of us had a time where we NEEDED the others, and it happened more than you would anticipate. In the same way, we also NEEDED people to celebrate these things with:
- Pregnancy
- Birth
- New houses
- Overcoming struggles
- Addiction recovery
- Child milestones
- Birthdays
- Good hair days
- Getting hit on postpartum
Okay – some of those trump the others, but each deserves some sort of recognition!
So here is my urge:
- Build your tribe! Have a core group of people in your situation (SAHM, working, part time- because your schedules will align easier) with kids around the same age. They don’t have to be just like you and you don’t have to agree on everything. In fact, it’s even better to diversify and widen your worldview.
- Meet on a regular basis. Mom life is busy but do your best to keep these times sacred because although you may be fine one week, another tribe-member may be the one in need of a hug, kind words, or rare adult contact.
- Encourage the unity of your kids. Yes, this group started for us with the kids being a total cover-up. But they became partners in crime. Now they have siblings and are experiencing the same type of world-shaking events that we are, and we would be naïve to think they didn’t need friends through these events as well.
- Text between meetings. It’s hard to wait an entire week to talk so don’t! Be there for each other as much as you can so that your time in person is icing on the cake.
- Don’t let fear hold you back from an incredible resource!
To my tribe- thank you ladies for being there for me in every situation. I am honored to stumble through this journey with you. We may not do it pretty, but we laugh a lot, and our kids have each other for therapy when they get older.
Looking for a community of moms? Check out our community play groups!
[…] If I keep making friends (and I mean true friends, kindred spirits, sharing lifes ups and downs…not shallow acquaintances), I find myself being torn from my precious family time, and that’s not okay. I can’t overcommit to “friend things”: a Bunco night, a book club, a fundraiser, a school drive, a neighborhood meeting, a Bible study, a game night, a gym class, a playgroup, a professional group, a volunteer organization, etc. I know what you are thinking…those are activities, not friends! Yes they are, but they are all ways I’ve met my friends and deepened our relationships over the years. When I think back on the ways I’ve strengthened my friendships there is usually some activity at the center of it, we aren’t just sitting on a phone texting…and if we are then add texting sessions to the list above! I can do SOME of these things with my friends, but not ALL of the things. I have to pick and choose, being careful to cultivate what I have and not neglect by adding more people to my tribe. […]
[…] I shower, please just tell me when you’d like to do so and show up. It really does take a village and I appreciate each and every one of […]
Hi Anna, pleased to meet you. And Congratulations on building your tribe successfully. You’ve got a beautiful blog here. I wish you and your community tons of success and happiness!
Blessings,
Bevan