“Why is it when mom throws a fit, she gets her way?”
Let me back up a little before this comment was made.
Becoming a mom changed me, drastically. Every move that I made, every word that I spoke or every action that I took there were little eyes watching me. Those little eyes were watching how to react positively or negatively to situations, how to communicate productively with others or just how to express emotions in all circumstances.
I have always known those little eyes were watching me. I always knew I am a very imperfect person. It just never became so real until a particular conversation that took place in the lighting aisle at Lowe’s between my husband and son:
Son- “Dad, how come every time mom throws a fit, she gets her way?”
Husband- “What do you mean?”
Son- “Like, with you or Lulu {my mom}, how come she always gets her way?”
Husband- “That is not true, but we will talk to mom about this.” {But it was so true}
After they arrived home from their trip to Lowe’s my husband mentioned the comment that was made about me. My heart sank. I felt so embarrassed but had some hope that maybe my son was just joking. I decided to sit him down with my husband and ask what he meant by his comment. He again said:
Son- “Mom, every time you throw a fit you get your way.”
Me- “What do you mean?”
Son- “Okay Mom, you pretend that you are me and I will be you and Dad will be Dad. Now you tell me you want to go to Dave & Buster’s.”
Me- “I want to go to Dave & Buster’s.”
Son- “Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I want to go to Chuck E Cheese!!!! Now Dad tell us we are going to Chuck E Cheese.”
Husband – “We are going to Chuck E Cheese.”
Son- “See, you got your way.”
Wow. I was speechless at this point. My four year old not only pointed out my biggest flaw {always wanting everything to be my way or the highway} BUT he also was able to act it out!
This was the moment that I realized. I have to be more aware. I tell him not to whine to get his way. I tell him to go with the flow. I tell him not to be disrespectful. I tell him all of these but apparently I am not being a good example of any.
That night I was able to examine myself through a four year old’s eyes. He taught me that raising him is not only done through just words but more through my actions. He is watching me, and frankly not seeing how I want him to act.
I want him to be able to grow up seeing a positive way to act and react. My intentions were always that, just never so intentional to make a huge change with how I acted. This moment changed me. I decided I need to be more intentional with my actions because those eyes are so aware. They will learn from my actions not my words. That night I told my son I was wrong, and that I was sorry. I asked him to help me make this change, and that if I start to “throw a fit” for him, to remind me that this is not how I should be acting (thankfully, we have yet to do this).
I must say, I worried whether to share this publicly or not. Thoughts of how bad I must look to other adults definitely crossed my mind. But, I realized that I do not care what others might think because this was a huge eye opener for me. I learned that what I want more is to be a good example to my son. I am thankful he teaches me how to be a better mother and woman.
How have your kids changed you for the better?
